Belonging Doesnt Grow on Trees

I was thinking while avoiding the pile of washing (waiting patiently to be folded and put away) behind me on the spare bed: What would be the best topic to write about in 2016? I thought with the start of a new year, belonging was the most logical choice for me.

Belonging

 For many people, big and small, 2016 will be filled with new beginnings...

• Perhaps as a child starting their first day ever in a setting?
• Perhaps a child starting at a new service, because they needed to leave their old one? A mix of familiarity and starting all over again.
• Perhaps as a fresh bright-eyed graduate starting a new role?  
• A student commencing studies?
• Starting a new position at a new service – or even an old one?
•  Volunteering or perhaps being on placement?
• Beginning a leadership role? Team leader? Director/Manager? Educational Leader?

I am sure many of us are feeling quite lost. I know I did. In fact, although I’ve been at my current service for 9 months, I still don’t feel a sense of belonging. We all want to feel that we belong, and that brings us to this question:

How do we facilitate a sense of Belonging? For Children? For Colleagues? For Ourselves?

I don’t have all the answers. I’m just nutting out and putting down my thoughts on this thing that is often presented in the shape of a tree: A Belonging Tree.

A belonging tree isn’t going to do it. [I’d love to know who started this belonging tree thing] Putting a child’s name on a birthday chart so high up they can’t even see it isn’t going to facilitate a sense of belonging.  It especially won’t facilitate belonging if they can’t read or recognise their name or are so young their eyes cannot focus at that distance.  Family photos on a wall? Nope. Names on lockers, names on hats, children’s photos on walls etc – they don’t create belonging. They are merely a collection of strategies that together plus something else MAY help to foster a feeling a belonging. These strategies are not guarantees.  You cannot implement them and then walk away and say that your efforts at ‘belonging’ are done. Tick those boxes. No. Just no. It just doesn’t work that way.

I believe the most important thing we can do to facilitate belonging is through relationships. It is so critical that we respectfully connect with people as people:

•        educator to child
•         educator to parent
•         educator to family
•          educator to educator
•          educator to leaders
•          leader to educator

How did you feel?

• How did you feel when there wasn’t a space for you to put your belongings?  Either as a child, a student, relief educator or employee?
• When you weren’t greeted when you arrived?
• When your name wasn’t spoken?
• When your name was pronounced incorrectly, repeatedly?
• When your name was overlooked on a list?
• When your name was spelled incorrectly on your paintings, repeatedly?
• When conversations around you didn’t include you?
• When conversations in the staffroom excluded you and included topics you could never participate in?
• When your position title: “floater” implies you don’t have any belonging to a space – you merely waft in and out with no connection?
• When people had their backs to you?
• When they didn’t bother to greet you and say good morning/afternoon/evening/night?
• When an educator you were working with in a team calls up the staff person you were covering and tells them how much they miss them and can’t wait for them to return so things can get back to normal?
• When colleagues don’t greet you much less even acknowledge that you are in the room?
• When colleagues discuss their plans for spending time together but exclude other educators in the room?
• When you see an educator giving consistent special attention to one particular child and not to you?
• When you were crying because you felt so alone, and someone said “Stop crying, you’re fine.”
• When you didn’t speak the language that everyone else was speaking?
• When you were down low, and everyone towered over you?
• When someone refused to give you a hug because someone else said “Put her down, or she’ll expect you to hold her all the time. She has to learn.”?  
• When you’re frustrated and want to do something so badly and someone laughs at you and says “Oh he’s such a little girl!”
• When you’re a girl and you hear someone use your gender as an insult?

I could really go on ... But you get the gist.

I feel horrible even writing those ... but the sad truth is they are all real. They exist. They existed in my past, I’ve experienced or witnessed them or colleagues have shared these stories with me. These moments may exist in someone else’s present and sadly they may exist for someone else in the near future.

Would you feel you a sense of belonging in those spaces?

Probably not. You might one moment, but not the next. 

So what do we do? How could we foster a feeling of belonging?

• Smile reassuringly. Be genuine – not artificial.
• Be welcoming. Greet people, big and small and say “Hello. Good morning.”
• Make eye contact – see them. Let them know that you see them! They exist!  If they don’t want to make or maintain eye-contact don’t force them! That’s creepy. Don’t be creepy.
• Speak their name. Make every effort to pronounce their name correctly. Ask their parents – write it down phonetically. Fo-Net-I-Call-Ee.  Learn it. It’s ok to make mistakes. Just don’t make mistakes for a year. Or change their name to suit you. That too is not cool.
• Re-assure and acknowledge feelings: “I know that you are upset; I can see that you are feeling sad/scared/angry/happy/joyful.”
• Be present and connect. “I am here to be with you. You are not alone.”

I think we give Belonging lip service. I think it’s something that is taken for granted. I think it’s a piece of plywood we have had  laser cut in the shape of a tree and tacked on a wall or written on a notice board. I think we just gloss over it because it’s compulsory. It's something we "have" to do in order to pass Assessment & Rating.

I challenge you - in 2016 to really think about your education spaces. Do you feel a sense of belonging? If yes, how and why? What contributes to those feelings? How could you embrace others in your space to support their sense of belonging? It doesn’t have to be ‘new’ colleagues, it could certainly be established team members. If you don’t feel a sense of belonging, how could you support yourself to feel a sense of belonging to your space? What changes would you need to make to manifest this for yourself? Would you need to speak up and voice your feelings or would modelling be enough? 

How does all this translate and have impact upon the children in our care? 

How important is Belonging to you, really, and what are YOU going to do?

Please put the trees down ... 

And no, don't pick up the bloody rainbow ...

Belonging is more than a tree ... 

It is more than a tokenistic display ... 

Belonging is a feeling. 

© Teacher's Ink. 2016

The Direction of Teacher's Ink.

Greetings & Salutations,

I've been quiet of late, because I stepped out of a teaching and directing role into that of a children’s services advisor. A large part of that job meant I had, I suppose access to people’s secrets, insecurities, strengths and challenges. I wanted my relationships with the educators that I was working with in a mentoring capacity to be based upon trust. While, for the most part, my blog is anonymous, I didn't want to take advantage of others and betray trust. That’s not cool. At all. So I've been quiet more or less for two years. I've still been reflecting, but it’s been more on the inside than the out.

I'm going to be entering into a new phase in my life so that may lead to more documented reflections. I will be pondering the direction of this blog, but I think that I will write about my teaching practice more than anything else. I know I've been political and I know I've thrown around judgements ... but as I may be teaching again, I think I want to really turn the lens towards myself and my skills, strengths and challenges. I'm certainly an imperfect teacher.

I mentioned previously that I wanted to work on Reflective Practice and Intentional Teaching and that still stands. Those two notions will tie in perfectly with the direction I’d like to take this blog. So there we have it.

So that’s where things will most likely be heading ... Stay tuned. 

G @ Teacher's Ink.

Being: A Reflection

“Childhood is a time to be, to seek and make meaning of the world. Being recognises the significance of the here and now in children’s lives. It is about the present and them knowing themselves, building and maintaining relationships with others, engaging with life’s joys and complexities, and meeting challenges in everyday life. The early childhood years are not solely preparation for the future but also about the present.”

Belonging, Being & Becoming: The Early Years Learning Framework

(DEEWR, 2009 p. 7)

I have noticed a great many discussions over the past 12 months or so around multiple highly commercialised programs for teaching children literacy through ‘cute’ characters and catchy songs. I have also seen a great deal of confusion around what ‘Intentional Teaching’ means.  I can quite easily reflect on both literacy and intentional teaching. But here I’m not going down that path today. Today I am reflecting on being and what it means for me as an early childhood teacher and what I think it means for children.

I try to think about times when I have been me, and I’ve been given direction or criticism or even guidance into a new direction that I knew I wasn’t prepared for. Do you know how I feel about that? I feel like I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough as I am at this time in this space. What my I hear is “NOT GOOD ENOUGH”. Now, whether that is the truth or not, it doesn’t matter. That horrible judging statement chips away at me.

Here’s a prime example. I was going to TAFE College in the 1990s part-time at night while working part-time as a live in nanny.  I was doing quite well. I was getting As and Bs and I was happy. I enjoyed it. My father thought that since I was doing so well, that I should apply for university. I was happy with TAFE, but he was adamant that I should apply for Uni. I would leave my job, I would move back home and I would be supported in conjunction with whatever part-time work I did. Good deal yeah?

So I withdrew from TAFE and I went to Uni. I struggled. It was so technically different to TAFE and I struggled. My self esteem plummeted. It just spiralled lower and lower. I was miserable. I put everything I had into the subjects I felt I could do, and I passed. I went from excelling to passing in a short period. I failed the other half of my subjects because they were so far beyond what I was ready to deal with at the time, and I didn’t know enough to withdraw. I felt like I had not only let myself down, but also my family. I was low. I was defeated. I was shattered. I went into a very dark place, where I was telling myself that I was not good enough.  This was the beginning of the dark times.

I was pushed. I let myself be pushed. I wasn’t strong enough in my being to say no. I wasn’t ready.

If I were left to be a TAFE student at a level where I was doing very well, who would I be today? It sure would have saved me a great deal of heart ache and turmoil. That decision to listen to someone pushing me beyond what was good for me, led me down a very dark path which lasted 3 painful years.

I want to say: “it doesn’t matter, because it has made me who I am today” but I look back at 19-year-old me, and my heart breaks for the hurt and pain and that 19-year-old me went through. It impacted upon my sense of belonging, I ended up interstate, essentially homeless and almost completely alone.

I eventually landed on my feet. I went back to TAFE and I completed my Diploma in EC. But it could easily have gone a very different way. I did even end up going to University. On my own terms, and when I was ready for that commitment.

I am who I am and I am travelling my own path. I also know now never to let myself be pushed. I now choose who pushes me, and how hard.

So, what does this have to do with children and their sense of being?

EVERY THING.

Imagine being a very capable three year old. And then imagine being re-directed and instructed into a different place.  Imagine the message that you are giving that young person: You are not good enough at three. You can’t do what you enjoy freely. You need to be doing these things. You need to be here at four. The same at four, you are not good enough at four, you need to be five. And so on and so forth.

Imagine your interests – the things you love doing and playing, being used against you. The things you loved doing for the sake of doing, for the pure love of being you, turned into something else conveniently labelled as “Intentional Teaching” to meet some sort of predetermined adult decided outcome that you at three or four or five really aren’t interested in much less ready for.

I don’t think we are preparing them for anything but failure and heartbreak and fragile self-esteems that might seriously put them in harms way in the future.

Why have we lost “being”?

Why can’t we let them be. Let them be who they are. It’s not our job to push them, to prod them into another state of being. It’s not our right.

I think that it is so critical to be who you are and be supported in being YOU.

I think we need to embrace “being” ... I think we need to let children learn who they are and be proud of themselves. I think we need to support them in driving their own knowing and learnings. I think we need to support them in connecting with each other and I think we need to focus on empathy.

Children are confident and involved learners who “follow and extend their own interests.” (DEEWR 2009 p. 34).  Why do they ‘need’ us pushing them? Especially when the learning framework tells us children have a right to be, but they also have the right to drive their own learning.

These are my thoughts on “being” and what it means to me as a human-being and what I think it means for the children in my life.

© Teacher’s Ink. 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

Scribble: a game of turn taking and laughing

I’ve been visiting and working with a service for a few weeks. There are twin girls “Olivia” and “Sophia” in the toddler room. They are about 2.5 years old. Olivia is outgoing and confident and loves to play and laugh. She has a wicked glint to her eyes and she loves to be chased. I comply with her wishes of course. Her sister Sophia is more reserved and shy. She stands back and sometimes becomes upset. I respect her wish to feel secure by keeping my distance and telling her so. “I don’t want to upset you, so I will move away and give you some space.”

Today, something beautiful happened. I of course continued with giving Sophia space. And it paid off. I was engaging with Olivia at the white board drawing experience on the table, and Sophia came to sit near me (Yay!). I helped Olivia with her sleeves which were going to be stained with ink. Sophia looked at me and smiled (Yay!) and then did her sleeves. I commented on her independence. She smiled.

The children then were transitioning to lunch (I won’t bore you with the details) and Olivia stayed with me. She eyed my clipboard which I had some notes written upon. I asked her if she’d like to do some writing. She smiled at me and reached out for my mechanical pencil. She made her mark. Then Sophia spied us, and she joined us. I smiled at her. She smiled back. I asked her if she would like a turn. She responded with a smile and said “my turn.” So she had her turn and made her mark. It was then when the lead ran out, and I had to show the two how to click the top to make the pencil work again.

We were playing a spontaneous game of “my turn, your turn” using my paper and pencil. It was my turn, then Olivia’s turn, then Sophia’s turn. Then mine and so on and so forth. Theo then joined us with a big smile on his face and he said “my turn?” So, we added Theo to our game, my turn, Olivia’s turn, Sophia’s turn, then Theo’s turn. We did a few more rounds, then Theo moved on to lunch. Sophia left, and Olivia and I continued our game for a couple more rounds. Sophia couldn’t stay away and she came back (Yay!).

I decided to mix things up and do some subtle intentional teaching stuff, I said to the two “I’m going to do a small one” and I proceeded to make an itty bitty little scribble on the top right hand corner of the page. This resulted in fits of hysterical giggling. I’d made a joke.  Olivia then decided she would do the opposite to me and she did a “big one” across the middle of the page. Then Sophia did a little one (which was really more medium than small as her skills aren’t as refined as mine). I did a teeny tiny little one, which resulted in even more hysterical laughter. Olivia then outdid herself and did a much bigger one, again saying “big one.” Sophia did her mark, but she decided to be loud and proud and do a big one like her sister.

I am going to finish this later and do some clever outcome talking type stuff … but for now on my lunch break, I wanted to get this story down while it was still fresh in my mind and my heart.

Today I was blessed with trust. And trust is so precious.  

* Olivia and Sophia and Theo are made up names.

(c) Teacher's Ink. 2013 All Rights Reserved.

Kindy Staff Too Busy Reporting To Care?

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/kindy-staff-too-busy-reporting-to-care/story-e6frfkp9-1226675094795

Ok since I'm on the Critical Literacy wagon ... I might as well comment on this article ... This article is more sensationalist bullshit. First, I'd like to say the title is crap. It implies that we are too busy to care which is totally NOT the case.

They state that we have to spend more time ' "reporting" on children' ... and their points of reference here are daily reflective journals and folios with photos ... Um ... I've been using daily reflective writing and kept chidlren's portfolios for the past 9 years ... the NQS has only been out for a year and a bit ... Seriously? They're blaming the NQF for reflective writing and portoflios? Piss off. 

If staff are spending more time on tasks to meet the standards - well what the hell were they doing before? NOT meeting the standards. You have to question that! You CAN meet the standards and spend time with children ... arguably ... spending time WITH the children will help you to MEET the standards. 

So one owner (and let me say here that owners are owners of businesses which happen to be child care centres) said that she has had to hire 2 full-time stuff to meet compliance on her 5 centres ... So, essentially she is saying that she had to hire two more staff to meet the standards ... Ok, so she's essentially suggested, quite possibly admitted that she wasn't employing enough staff to be giving quality care in the first place. Ok. You want us to feel sorry for you? Nope. If you can own 5 child care centres, you certainly don't deserve my pity. 

Next we have "Parents are footing the bill to fulfill a bureaucratic nightmare. Even when we tick the boxes we are not sure we have complied" ... Well, sweetheart, its not about ticking boxes. By merely saying that it comes down to ticking a box means you clearly don't get it. 

And come on, the cost of child care has always been on the rise, why is this any different to what was happening before?

I'm not quite sure what she's getting at in regards to her confusing over having diploma-trained staff ... she really isn't clear about what she is specifically confused about. The answers will be in the regulations ... Now, what I will say here, without being a smart-ass and looking up the answer myself (I really can't be bothered, I'm just glad I'm following through with a post!)  ... I think that you should be concerned that the owner doesn't know what the regulations are, where they are, and what she should be doing to meet them. The fact that she's admitted to speaking to 3 different so-called compliance officers ... well, why did she need to ask the question three times? Again, she's an owner responsible for the care, education and well-being of children. If she doesn't know what she's doing, well ... that's a concern isn't it?

Then we have a quote from a politician who has an agenda - bag the other politician. "massive over-correction" ... well ... that's just admitting that there was something that needed correcting in the first place ... So, clearly the system was a bit broken. At least we've done something about it ... At least we're going in a direction rather than sitting still and stagnating. She then talks about sitting down the with states and territories to "slow down on some of the more pointless outcomes." ... I'm curious, what are those pointless outcomes? 

Look, I know the system is flawed. In fact any system for that matter will be flawed. I don't think its perfect, but I think its better than what we had before. There is still huge piles of crap out there ... there are still those misinterpreting it for their own benefit. Kate Ellis who is the Minister for Childcare said that they will be reviewing the framework - well that was bound to happen anyway wasn't it? ACECQA has been reporting on the progress, it stands to reason that there would be some follow through with that.

Kate Ellis has then gone on to say that "There is no more documentation required ... that there was under the previous quality assurance systems" ... There is different documentation required. Because its different it requires us to work harder until we are more able to meet the requirements ... In time, it will be easier. It really will. 

We just have to work for it. 

So my peeps, start putting out! 

© Teacher’s Ink. 2013